Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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