your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Don't make out with my wife yet
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
