she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
My dick has a subreddit
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
