Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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