Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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