There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
