Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
