i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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