we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
