Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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