so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
