Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
