well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
