she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
