Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
