I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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