Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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