If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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