She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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