i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
P.S. I can't hear my feet
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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