So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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