She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
