Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize