I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize