Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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