It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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