Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
