That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
