mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I hate all girls vehemently.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
