We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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