Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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