cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Also, beer. Big fan.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
