I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
birth control should be required to get into college
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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