They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
