Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
