Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
