Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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