I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize