Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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