Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
