If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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