Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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