We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
