Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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