its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
