You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize