Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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