she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Bring me that man meat
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
