So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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