woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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