The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
