I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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