covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
