Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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