I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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