You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
