the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
