also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
he puts the penis in happiness.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
