it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
