I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Randomize
