We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize