whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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