I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
